The body feels before the mind reacts. Then we attach a feeling only after the body/mind has started its reaction. Embodiment allows us to sense thoughts and emotions as they are arising, before we begin to react. Feeling subtle contraction and shifts in the body allows a response instead of a reaction. As we become more familiar with the states of the body/mind we can notice when and how harmful states arise.
These are what we call skillful means. Being more in the body, or embodied, allows us to stop harmful states in their tracks. States like anxiety, anger, fear.
When things are uncomfortable, we want to be anywhere but in the body. This is when we love to distract ourselves – we’re bored, lonely, anxious, stressed….we don’t want to be there so we indulge in all our habits like procrastination, numbing out, overeating….
The opposite is actually more helpful. We can sense the Signals of things arising so that we have a choice. Before we are overtaken. The body will sense a thought or emotion before it is actually cognized. We don’t experience this particularly because it’s very fast. The body automatically responds to stress before we know what is happening before thoughts or emotions occur. One of the reasons to practice mindfulness is to slow things down so that we can be in each moment and work in these small increments. We often have big swaths of time when we say I don’t even know what happened there. A ton of things happened! I don’t know where it started. I don’t know where it went. I’m exhausted and now I need to recover.
If we can slow the speed of processing down we can sense a signal the beginning of tension. We all have one or two places where feelings arise if we’ve begun to notice that. And it can be different for everyone, as well as different for different emotions joy arises in a different place than anger. Once we know where certain feelings arise, it’s easier to know them and notice them before they run away with us. The body almost always raises its hand to us, hey here i am constricting getting uncomfortable… Notice me! Boom now you’re in the feeling. We aren’t trained very well to listen to the body. It’s not how we’ve been brought up in our culture. We are not great at recognizing emotions. Story of girl on date getting flu thinking it’s attraction
No reason to blame or be embarrassed, it’s not how we are culturally aware of the body at the moment. We can sensitize ourselves to the body and be more sensitive to what is arising before it turns into full blown episodes of something. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. All the experiences we consider negative, all the experiences that cause us to suffer. These are ways to reduce our suffering known as skillful means. Being more aware of the body so we can notice what is arising and work with it.
Being embodied is also known as interception or being aware of what’s going on inside the body; the marker for this is generally if you can feel your heartbeat. Some people can, some of us can’t and some of us don’t want to. When the heart really fast do you want to focus on that? Probably not. We can learn to increase this ability, but we are all different. This is more easy for some than others no judgment – not good or bad. Just inner awareness.
As meditators a lot of what we do is noticing the body and breath. Interception is now blending more with contemplative science to include thoughts and feelings. Noticing where we are internally while we move through the external world. This takes practice, period. It’s not again what we are taught when we meditate we are practicing this noticing.
We most often notice discomfort after it has taken over. This is not to stop feeling what we need to express like sadness and grief, we aren’t trying to squash those kinds of feelings. This is more about feelings of discomfort like anger and anxiety feelings we can know we can do without. When we let these feelings overtake us we can care for ourselves and do some self-care when we do get overwhelmed. We can use the breath take a walk journal exercise to make a comforting cup of tea talk to a trusted friend period. When we do these practices we begin to notice our own habits. Our conditioning and the more we notice or understand our habits the more we can work to unwind those that don’t serve us as well.
Habits and patterns are conditioned responses. They might be learned over the years from our family, from relationships, from our culture. We learn many ways of being that are simply learned over time. No blame, no shame. We can depersonalize this because it’s not our fault it’s just the circumstances we live in. We can always apply kindness and be gentle with ourselves about it. The thing about our habits is they can come on strongly and quickly. This is a well worn groove of experience. We are well trained in our habits Olympic gold medal winners of all our most common habits. We get used to being certain ways expect certain things and when things are not as we prefer we suffer.
We notice what causes discomfort, notice it as it arises. When we feel negative emotions, we can take slow deep breaths to reset the nervous system. Next we stop, take a pause and wait a beat to respond. This short circuits our habitual reactions, that can often be conditioned ways of being that don’t serve us. Responding instead of reacting. Making different choices that are within our control. We don’t want to sit in the discomfort so much as to find an alternate path. This can begin with embodiment, noticing where emotions are in the body. The more familiar we are with our habits of mind with our conditioning with our normal responses the more we can begin to change those and in doing so, make intentional choices that help us experience less suffering.
Reducing Stress In The Body, In The Moment
Mindfulness, Reducing StressThe body feels before the mind reacts. Then we attach a feeling only after the body/mind has started its reaction. Embodiment allows us to sense thoughts and emotions as they are arising, before we begin to react. Feeling subtle contraction and shifts in the body allows a response instead of a reaction. As we become more familiar with the states of the body/mind we can notice when and how harmful states arise.
These are what we call skillful means. Being more in the body, or embodied, allows us to stop harmful states in their tracks. States like anxiety, anger, fear.
When things are uncomfortable, we want to be anywhere but in the body. This is when we love to distract ourselves – we’re bored, lonely, anxious, stressed….we don’t want to be there so we indulge in all our habits like procrastination, numbing out, overeating….
The opposite is actually more helpful. We can sense the Signals of things arising so that we have a choice. Before we are overtaken. The body will sense a thought or emotion before it is actually cognized. We don’t experience this particularly because it’s very fast. The body automatically responds to stress before we know what is happening before thoughts or emotions occur. One of the reasons to practice mindfulness is to slow things down so that we can be in each moment and work in these small increments. We often have big swaths of time when we say I don’t even know what happened there. A ton of things happened! I don’t know where it started. I don’t know where it went. I’m exhausted and now I need to recover.
If we can slow the speed of processing down we can sense a signal the beginning of tension. We all have one or two places where feelings arise if we’ve begun to notice that. And it can be different for everyone, as well as different for different emotions joy arises in a different place than anger. Once we know where certain feelings arise, it’s easier to know them and notice them before they run away with us. The body almost always raises its hand to us, hey here i am constricting getting uncomfortable… Notice me! Boom now you’re in the feeling. We aren’t trained very well to listen to the body. It’s not how we’ve been brought up in our culture. We are not great at recognizing emotions. Story of girl on date getting flu thinking it’s attraction
No reason to blame or be embarrassed, it’s not how we are culturally aware of the body at the moment. We can sensitize ourselves to the body and be more sensitive to what is arising before it turns into full blown episodes of something. Fear. Anxiety. Anger. All the experiences we consider negative, all the experiences that cause us to suffer. These are ways to reduce our suffering known as skillful means. Being more aware of the body so we can notice what is arising and work with it.
As meditators a lot of what we do is noticing the body and breath. Interception is now blending more with contemplative science to include thoughts and feelings. Noticing where we are internally while we move through the external world. This takes practice, period. It’s not again what we are taught when we meditate we are practicing this noticing.
We most often notice discomfort after it has taken over. This is not to stop feeling what we need to express like sadness and grief, we aren’t trying to squash those kinds of feelings. This is more about feelings of discomfort like anger and anxiety feelings we can know we can do without. When we let these feelings overtake us we can care for ourselves and do some self-care when we do get overwhelmed. We can use the breath take a walk journal exercise to make a comforting cup of tea talk to a trusted friend period. When we do these practices we begin to notice our own habits. Our conditioning and the more we notice or understand our habits the more we can work to unwind those that don’t serve us as well.
Habits and patterns are conditioned responses. They might be learned over the years from our family, from relationships, from our culture. We learn many ways of being that are simply learned over time. No blame, no shame. We can depersonalize this because it’s not our fault it’s just the circumstances we live in. We can always apply kindness and be gentle with ourselves about it. The thing about our habits is they can come on strongly and quickly. This is a well worn groove of experience. We are well trained in our habits Olympic gold medal winners of all our most common habits. We get used to being certain ways expect certain things and when things are not as we prefer we suffer.
We notice what causes discomfort, notice it as it arises. When we feel negative emotions, we can take slow deep breaths to reset the nervous system. Next we stop, take a pause and wait a beat to respond. This short circuits our habitual reactions, that can often be conditioned ways of being that don’t serve us. Responding instead of reacting. Making different choices that are within our control. We don’t want to sit in the discomfort so much as to find an alternate path. This can begin with embodiment, noticing where emotions are in the body. The more familiar we are with our habits of mind with our conditioning with our normal responses the more we can begin to change those and in doing so, make intentional choices that help us experience less suffering.
Learning to Accept Things We Don’t Like
UncategorizedBeing with Uncertainty
Mindfulness, UncertaintyMindful Eating
UncategorizedMindfulness is paying attention on purpose to the present moment, with an attitude of openness and curiosity.
So many things we do out of habit. We get into habits and experience life mindlessly. Eating is a great place to infuse mindfulness. There are many benefits to mindful eating. We enjoy our food more.
We fully experience the pleasure that we get from eating. Mindfulness can help us make better choices about what we eat, and we can even eat less because we notice when we have eaten enough.
Mindful eating can begin from the moment we decide we want something to eat.
We can ask our selves – am I hungry? Do I just want to eat out of boredom? Avoidance? Stress?
Next we can consider – What would be a good choice for me to eat right now? I often stand in front of the refrigerator and see what’s easiest or fastest. Mindfulness asks us to slow down, and take a breath. Take a moment to choose food that is healthy and satisfying right now instead of grabbing the first appetizing thing you see. Our body has innate intelligence. I find that if I slow down and consider my options, my body will tell me what it needs.
When we do choose our food, we can approach it with gratitude. Wow – so many people have food insecurity and here I am with something to eat. That is truly something to be grateful for. We can be grateful for all the people who got this food to me – farmers, truck drivers, grocery store employees.
Mindful eating allows us to enjoy our food more. Slowing down is the key. Take smaller bites, and chew thoroughly. I like to think of it as eating in slow motion. This allows us to savor the taste, smell and textures. We pay full attention to all our sensations and really heighten our experience. Distracted eating is very common. When we are distracted we might not be making the best choices. We eat while doing other things, we aren’t really paying attention to eating. We suddenly have finished our food and are surprised it’s gone because we were in remote control mode.
So much can be changed by focusing our attention!
Eating slower often means eating less. It takes 20 minutes for our brain to register that we are full.
When we eat too fast, we are already done before our body catches up with the awareness of being full.
We can recognize when we are full and tell ourselves – this is enough.
We can also apply mindfulness to cravings – any sort of craving – food, alcohol, shopping.
This is something I have found very helpful. When a craving comes up, I will sit with it. Cravings will arise and fall away – just like all other thoughts and feelings. I feel like I really want a bowl of ice cream.
We sit for a minute, just observing thoughts, observing feelings. Maybe a bowl of ice cream is exactly what is called for right now. Maybe I just really want something sweet, and a piece of fruit would satisfy the craving. Or maybe if I sit for a minute, I don’t actually want ice cream. I was being impatient about something else and wanted to fill the time with a distraction.
By just noticing these things, we can start to see our own habits of mind. Is there a situation that triggers a specific response? We can be in charge of our responses and manage our impulse once we notice they are there.
Mindful eating is a simple way to bring mindfulness into your everyday life. Try it at your next meal and let me know how it goes.
Pausing for Presence
UncategorizedHow can we add more mindfulness in our days? Mindfulness is a way to shift our attention to the present moment, no matter what we are doing. We can find calm among the chaos if we just use a few simple tips.
I had meditated for years but would still find myself getting stressed out during the day. It was always a question – why can’t I keep calm at work? I mean, I meditate! A conflict with my boss, parenting struggles, even just work life balance created so much stress. The all-too-common struggle of working people everywhere. I was practicing mindfulness – as far as I understood. I woke up early, did an hour of yoga and meditation before leaving for work. So why was I still caught up in so much reactivity?? I had read tips about how to be mindful, but nothing ACTUALLY worked when I was in the throes of conflict, deadlines, or just rushing around trying to keep all the balls in the air.
Mindfulness is much more than sitting down to meditate. It’s a practice of bringing ourselves into the present when we aren’t meditating. We can access it at any time once we know how. If we don’t practice when we are calm, we won’t be able to use these tools when we are in the throes of something stressful. Pausing is a very simple practice.
How To Use Pausing Practice
Pausing hits the reset button, brings us into the present, and allows us choices. In a stressful situation, after that pause you can choose how to move forward. We can tap into our inner wisdom. Ask – how does my best self want to react to this situation? Do I want to unclench my jaw and speak calmly? Do I want to ask for a few minutes to think about it as the best next step?
The key is learning to pause when in a calm time. It’s difficult to get there when you are in the middle of a stressful situation. How do we practice? We can choose a time when we do something regularly and pause. For example, every time I sit down to eat I will pause. Or before I open my computer I will pause. After brushing my teeth, every time I enter a certain room – you can see the list goes on. Post it notes are very helpful – I have one on the door to my office reminding me to pause as I enter.
These mindful moments can really add up. We lower our stress levels every time we reset and take a deep breath. Try adding a pause every day for a week and see if you notice a change. I have seen a huge change myself since beginning this practice. Hope you do too.
Walking Meditation
UncategorizedFinding time to meditate can be a challenge. We’re all so busy that having one more thing to squeeze in can be daunting. One practice that can help is walking meditation. If you weren’t aware, meditation can be done sitting, lying down, standing or walking. Walking meditation is a powerful skill that can also be a nice change of pace for those who have a regular meditation practice. Added bonus – it gets us to move the body and add gentle exercise to our day.
Walking meditation can be done anytime. At the beginning or end of the day, or even as a break in the middle. Especially if you need to clear your mind, walking meditation is a great way to do so. Find a quiet route to wander. We spend too much time rushing from place to place. Decide your walk will be a meditation – a slow walk. There is no destination, just a stroll. It’s usually best to use a path that is familiar to you so you don’t have to think too much about where you are and have no risk of getting lost.
HOW TO DO A WALKING MEDITATION
Start by taking small, slow steps that align with your breath. As you inhale, step forward with one foot, and as you exhale place the other foot. See how slow you can make your breathing and your steps. Consider how the foot hits the ground – heel rolls through the toe. Feel each part of the foot as it plants on the ground.
Be conscious about where you are placing your gaze while you walk. You can keep the eyes focused on a point right in front of you, or down towards the ground to avoid distractions. It’s a little easier to keep focused when the eyes are looking down – just be sure to look a few steps ahead so you have an awareness of where you are heading and what’s in front of you. As in seated meditation, the mind will wander. When it does, bring it back to your point of focus.
It’s that simple!
You can do this solo or walk with a friend as long as you agree that at least a part of the walk will be spent in silence. You could dedicate a part of a longer walk to mindful walking and spend the rest of it walking as normal. Habit stacking is a great way to make new habits stick. Adding a new thing onto something you do all the time is the key. In this case, If you have some walking to do already – if you have to walk between buildings during the workday, walk out to get your lunch, or walk to use public transportation, you could make that trip a walking meditation. Walking meditation is a wonderful way to incorporate mindfulness into your busy day.